how we define happiness nowadays is actually in two sections. we divide happiness into two. okay, the two sections that we divide happiness into is - number one, "hedonia", okay? hedonia. now, can u guys think perhaps could you define for me briefly what hedonia might be? hedonia is a form of happiness, is about abrief fleeting achievement of some description. it is characterized by an event, okay.an achievement or an event, an acquisition.
okay. picking up that hot girl alright. havingchocolate cake, getting a car, getting a moterbike, talking to a girl, having a girl give youa glance. these are all forms of hedonia, these specific events, okay. what are thesespecific events, do they peak your feeling of well being. gives you this peak, this jump,this skip up, in perceived happiness.
what else gives you hedonia guys, is drugs.yes? cocaine ãs great! yeah? have a line of it - "bam!" i'm switched on, i'm feelinghappy. eudaemonia okay is the state of happinessthat we achieve when we're in the state of pursuit for something that we want, whatwe would call eudaemonic goal. and don't be fooled by the fact that it ends in the word "demonic".okay, in an eudaemonic goal okay we will move in a pursuit of that. a surfer is not afterone specific event, okay, usually not. the surfer can love the surfing to enjoy the process of getting better at surfing. the runner ãs the same. i've got myself up there from oneof my previous seminars - for me this is eudaemonic process. the two very different reasons for takingaction in life.
hedonic goals and eudaemonic goals are very different. let me, let me..sort of list it up like this guys. measure with a graph, cause i'm a geek so i like graphs..okay.this is time and this is happiness, okay. when you are in the pursuit of hedonic goals, when you are achieving hedonic goals, living a life in this fashion, this is what occurs. this is what we go through. we peak when we achieve our hedonic goal and then we crash and we say "oh life's horrible!" and we peak and we go "oh yes, life ãs awesome!" then we crash and go "oh my god life ãs horrible!" and then we peak and "oh my god.." yeah, you get the process right? okay, this is the process of hedonic pleasure. and let's face it, the majority of guys here are in this process. we're locked into this cycle. one wayor another, okay, a lot of the things that
you guys are going to do tomorrow are about achieving some sort of hedonic pleasure for yourselves. it might be the food you eat, it might be playing a gameon a work computer rather than actually working, okay - it ãs an achievement of some hedonicshort term pleasure okay that gives you peaks and it also gives you troughs. okay when you are working towards an eudaemonic pleasure, what you get is this process. okay? because you don't crash. you guys, let me ask you, who has been... who here has..knows that feeling when you have just been in a middle of exercise regime that you're doing for a couple of weeks now, say 3-4 weeks and you're starting to getin the routine. who knows that feeling? some of you guys. who knows that feeling of leaving a job you don't want, to persue something you want more of in life?
who found that just lasted a day, that pleasure? it just lasted a day for you?fair enough. most of you guys shouldfind that it carries around with you. you carry it around. you carry it around withyou when you go out to a club, you carry it around with you when you're at parties..okayyou walk into that party and you feel like a million bucks because you know whatyou're in the middle of pursuing what you want in life. you know that kick in energythat you get when you're really pursuing something you want? you guys all know thatfeeling? yeah? and that stays with you, that doesn't rely on you actually achievingsomething, the pursuit of what you want, it follows you around and sticks with you, okay.it impacts the way you interact with the people
around you, okay. these are endaemonic goals.these are endaemonic forms of happiness. can you guys tell me who are the happiestpeople that we have recorded? meditated buddhist monks guys. can anyone tell me how these people live their lives? does anyone know about the life ofa monk? and you don't have to be an expert. one of the aspects of a monk's life is to forego individualism and also hedonistic pleasure. you wont find a monkwith an ipad playing games although i have seen a monk with with an iphone. you wont see monks with boom boxes or cool cars or any of this stuff because their lifestyle, a monk's lifestyle is to cut this out of their life as much as possible. the monks lifestyle is to be in pursuit of what? what are the monks in pursuit of? enlightenment.exactly.
and will any monk ever say i'm totally enlightened - i've i got it! will you ever hear a monk say that? why not? because the idea isn't actually be enlightened, the idea is to be consistentin pursuit. the whole idea is to be concept of pursuit, not actually attain. okay andthese people are measurably the happiest. they're measurably the happiest.it ãs an interesting aspect this hedonia versus endaemonia thing, the people that we knowwho pursue endaemonic pleasures are the happiest. if you guys can be in a habit of moving towardsan endaemonic goal at all times,
women psychology,rather than the hedonistic goals, you're gonna start making betterchoices, you're gonna start making choices, decisions in your life , that are going to makeyou happier. we all want to be better with women, for lots of different reasons, but some of the needs and some of thean endaemonic desires that we've got behind
that could be sated in other ways as well. we are all looking for more than just being better with women.
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